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There she was. Soundly sleeping on my lap after I fed her with the last bottle of pumped/expressed breast milk.

I looked at her. How cute she is.

And how beautiful is that feeling. To be able to contribute for her growing body.

I kissed her forehead.Long.Never enough.
And I whispered to her tiny ear "Mama minta maaf ye sayang....I have tried my best"
And her mouth just couldn't stop suckling even in sleep! Cutie!

81 wonderful days (and nights!)

I just wish I can turn back time. Coz right now I am regretting my decision.

And this tears doesn't seem like stopping.
The breast engorgement? Only Allah knows this pain I am bearing...

Iskkk!

2 surgeries

1 month apart

Few needle aspirations in between

Doctor had adviced to say Bye Bye to breastfeeding

Since Auliya already 2 and half months old.

Nope.

She's ONLY 2 and half months old.

Help me Allah.

I don't know what to do
I don't know what is right to be done

I don't have anyone
I only have You